>I’m anticipating Christmas Eve a bit more than normal this year. For the first time in a couple of years, I will be attending services with a good size chunk of my family. We haven’t the last few years because we all end up at different churches at different times. This year, thanks to coordination on the part of my sister-in-law, we’re all going to Christmas Eve service together!!

I’m really happy to be together with some family at church on Christmas Eve, the only thing I’m not looking forward to are the disproving glances that I’m sure to receive during communion. Since I’m neither a member of Holy Martyrs nor any other Catholic church, I won’t be participating in the sacrament of Communion. I’m good with that. I understand why. I can simply commune with the Lord in my heart during that time. 99% of the people who will be partaking of the sacrament don’t notice because their focus is where is is supposed to be. But that 1% who take notice with questioning looks on their faces…

Maybe I should follow the lead of the 99%… reflect, pray and commune in my heart. It isn’t about the action, it’s about what’s in your heart. Come to think about it, isn’t that the case every single day?

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~ by pe2nia1 on December 16, 2008.

2 Responses to “”

  1. >You know, Wendy, I have thought in the last few years a lot about those “disapproving glances.” I would encourage you to rethink that. For one thing, perhaps the people can’t help but notice you, and they don’t intend to have disapproval (or anything) in their faces. And you are doing the right thing by not participating even though everyone else seems to be. Sometimes I wonder how many of the people going up to communion should be, and then I have to remind myself to:a. quit judgingb. quit worrying – it’s God’s problem, not mine!When I do not receive Communion for whatever reason, I try to keep my head bowed and eyes closed, so that I don’t give in to the temptation to disapprove of the disapprovers (who might not, in fact, even be disapproving).I’ve had similar struggles when I’m the one with the yowling kid, at my church or (especially!) at others where I am not a member.I think it is a temptation – and a clever design of Satan – to turn that most holy of times into a time of discomfort and guilt and judging. So battle it, my friend, and think of the joy of being together celebrating the Birth in His Presence!

  2. >Thanks for your words of encouragement, Sarah… As I was writing this, I felt like a big, over-sensitive complainer and was planning on using the heck out of those kneelers with head bowed in my own personal ‘communion’ with the Lord.I absolutely agree with you about these types of feelings being a clever design of Satan. Funny how he works in the weaknesses of our hearts.

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